


Love came (with all that it brings)

by alezhys



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 22:10:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21004961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alezhys/pseuds/alezhys
Summary: Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, in transition.





	Love came (with all that it brings)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what I'm doing here y'all. I never did, I never will. As always you can blame me posting it on Jenny, and on a morning breakdown I had over Kyungsoo's enlistment news. Hope y'all enjoy it!
> 
> (Title cromes from a Villagers song by the same name. You should check them out, they're pretty good).

Kyungsoo has never really understood what people mean when they say a feeling is too big to express through words. He understands almost perfectly well the inability to express an idea. He understands how hard it can be to have to force a thought come out of his mouth after it's gone through the unstoppable machine his brain can become sometimes. It keeps him up at night enough to become a problem. 

Shyness can blur the coherence out of your body; embarrassment usually following it as a result. He has been through that before, onstage and offstage, though acting makes enough of a difference now. It has given him the ability to walk into somebody else's head and make a house out of it, transferring some of his own furniture in and then walking out a little wiser. But weary. 

Acting comes naturally to Kyungsoo, it allows for the freedom he no longer thinks himself being able to enjoy while having his face plastered all over Seoul and abroad. When acting he can become a regular man, living a regular life, thinking regular thoughts. He can imagine how a character (this new not-Kyungsoo) could look at another person and imagine himself being so deeply in love with them the mere idea of losing himself in the process wouldn't make him want to break into a sweat. He can do that, he's done it several times before. But he had never really understood what it meant until he started dating Chanyeol.

Here's the thing about dating Chanyeol; dating Chanyeol is a matter of relearning how to be himself over and over while still walking in his same shoes.

Here are several things about dating Chanyeol; dating Chanyeol is teaching himself how to get through nights at home, both being immensenly proud of him for making a name for himself out of hard work and talent while also being stupidly mad at him for not making it for dinner. It's both, yearning for some time alone after thirty six hours of being in close quarters down in a basement shooting for an music video, and wanting to go back home and have Chanyeol press him, back against the shower wall, with his head tucked to the side of Chanyeol's neck. 

They are going through the motions... But they're also walking through a path no friends nor relatives of them have ever before gone through.

Their relationship involves lots of swearing, lots of fighting, lots of losing sight and insight. It also involves lots of kissing and trying to keep their sanity afloat, their seemingly shared brain cells. Chanyeol makes it look like it's a walk in the park, Kyungsoo has just started to get the hang of it.

In what feels to Kyungsoo like a short period of time, Chanyeol has managed to take the old dog out of him and trained him to make him jump through loops on fire. Chanyeol Pavloved him and Kyungsoo happily let him. Life turned out a lot more fun when he discovered himself looking at Chanyeol the way he has never looked at another person before.

Dating Chanyeol is lots of never's becoming maybe's becoming certainties. Isn't it a thing he does now to lie with his head on Chanyeol's thighs while watching the TV? Whoever said love is all about the little things also seems to have got it all wrong because love is so much more about the grand steps.

It takes a large amount of trust for a person to willingly leave for two years and having another person promise them they'll be there for them when they eventually come back. Kyungsoo won't lie to you if asked, he didn't believe for a second Chanyeol was going to stay put for him. He didn't believe him not because of who Chanyeol is but because it's also the easiest thing to walk away from something when it turns out complicated.

Kyungsoo went through those two years believing himself alone at the end of that long, arduous road and coming back to an empty apartment. His lonely umbrella would be lying by the door. He would find a coat Chanyeol would intentionally forget inside their closet, hold on to the thing for a while and get over it with time. They would meet for a drink or two later on asked each other out of ye ol' sentimentality if they remember that time when they spent three days having sex nonstop because their heating stopped working and it was the middle of January. 

"We were saving warm, saving the planet." 

What he found instead was Chanyeol waiting for him in the van outside the training camp, poorly trying to maintain some semblance of control over his face. Chanyeol radiating sunshine all over the seats. Kyungsoo believes in sorrow being good for mental health, for helping a person grow up, but was he glad Chanyeol had decided to stay with him anyways!

Comments about a wedding are thrown around. When they started receiving them as jokes from the other guys he understood, it was a fun for them. They thought it was great to pick on shy, care-free Kyungsoo for spending so much time with loud, heart on his sleeve Chanyeol even though he drove him crazy. They thought it was hilarious that they went as far as to move out together, once the mechanics of dorm sharing had ceased to serve them purpose. When the comments start coming as suggestions instead Kyungsoo realized, albeit belatedly if he might said so himself, Chanyeol and him were now basically glued to the hip and people had noticed. 

It's not like they haven't talked about it before; talked about getting married, the possibility of marriage, and about coming out to their respective families. Chanyeol's mom would probably throw them a party, they already fulfilled the grandchildren part on Yura so there's nothing much to expect from Chanyeol other than him leading a happy and successful life. Kyungsoo's parents wouldn't be thrilled with the idea of him sleeping with a man, let alone a man whose face has been next to Kyungsoo's own on ads all over their country.

So it feels a lot like lying sometimes, it comes and goes. Kyungsoo thinks they would also get over it someday. The guys did, and sometimes they feel a lot more like family than their real families do. Chanyeol told him once while drunk, that when he starts feeling bad about not lying, but hiding it, he turns on their bed, looks at Kyungsoo's ugly sleeping face and thinks it might be absolutely worth it. He cried afterwards and then passed out with his head on top of Sehun's legs. He had to carry him home.

Now though, looking at Chanyeol's face through a screen, while he's sipping on coffee at the airport while on his way back from LA, makes Kyungsoo think that drunk Chanyeol was right all along. It is totally worth it. He gets to hold Chanyeol's yaoi-large hands while kissing the living daylights out of him. He gets to be there when the world closes up on him, to pull him out. It's worth it.

What might come next is a small part of their life being exposed to the world at large Maybe Chanyeol would like it or maybe he won't. Maybe they will get to live long enough together to laugh about the now or maybe they won't. That's a problem for future Kyungsoo to think about. Present Chanyeol lays on their bed with his back against the wall reading about a dog in Japan waiting for his master, while Kyungsoo makes notes on his modern Korean-French cuisine book.

And anyways, Kyungsoo doesn't think the Chanyeol from then, future Chanyeol, would care much as long as they get to be happy. And that's fantastic, Kyungsoo thinks that might be fantastically enough. 


End file.
